does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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