I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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