I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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