she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
