Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
