yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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