Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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