small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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