Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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