Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
