i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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