How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
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BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
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I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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