you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
