I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
