I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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