Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
