Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Blood and glitter go together right?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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