Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
