Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I intend to get homeless drunk
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
