and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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