All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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