My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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