look no pants
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
