Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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