I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
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From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
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Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN