so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
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On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
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I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.