so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?