Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.