He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
