She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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