My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
