Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
