My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
