Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
