I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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