god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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