i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She needs sedatives and a leash
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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