You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
