she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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