He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
