Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
