too bad you live with your parents still
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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