just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize