So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
