Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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