I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
