so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
