I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
