K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
