We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
