are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
