OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
