If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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