I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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