You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
