unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize