She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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