smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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