She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
