wake up i wanna do it froggy style
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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